Last week I heard that I had not been juried into the Fine Art Quilt Masters at FOQ. This is the first time I have put my work in for this sort of selected gallery, and failing hurt. I am very bad at getting failure in perspective (sound familiar to anyone??) - I find it hard to deal with and for much of my life have avoided putting myself in to positions where I risk it. But that has changed in the last few years and I am now aiming to stop limiting my life that way by learning to deal with failure as well as I deal with success! Not easy and the first hour after I heard, I confess to feeling gutted and a few tears. I know I know - it's only a quilt, but it matters to me and it was a personal one. Anyway, a few conversations with good friends and a bit of time to readjust my initial 'I'll never bother again' reaction, and I think I have got it into it's correct perspective. And I will try again next year .. different judges and a different piece .. who knows? The up side is I can now show you the whole piece, which I am now back to both loving and feeling very proud of. If you remember, it is called 'Self 1: On Edge' and is the first in what will be a long running series of personal works, examining my life, my feelings and how those are affected by my depression. This one has a sub-title of 'March 2013: Score 43'. All the pieces will have this basic subtitle which refers obviously to the date, but also to the way I track my illness, so I can manage it better. This first one looks at insecurity, fear, worry, pressure, stability and sanity. It has a lot of imagery relating to these issues, some personal, some universal. This imagery will no doubt be repeated as the series grows and become more clear.
Self 1: On Edge
41" x 41"
Right - enough of being serious .. what about THE BOOK?? Well it is moving on a pace (just as well - due out in less than 5 weeks) and I've been making rubbings:
monoprints:
and screen prints (these on both a sunny and windy day in the garden .. you want to try doing and photographing that all by yourself!!
That is the last of the photography done I think (hope .. pray) and now it is just (JUST????) getting it on the pages. It has struck me that the proofing is going to be a little curtailed if I am to have it ready for FOQ (and I am still aiming for that). Sooooo ... I have decided that I might have a little competition whereby the first person to spot each spello I miss will win a little prize .. probably some handpainted papers and fabric. That way I can pretend they are planned? I am loving doing the whole thing myself and it allows me to be totally in control and the book certainly doesn't look like anyone elses, but right now I would love a big team of proofers and setters and etceteras. Never mind - it will be worth it and you know you are getting the real time thing. No set up shots here. Just me and the camera .. you should see the poor thing, he is covered in paint now. And I must get back to work .. but first a couple of images of the new pieces just gone off to Minerva .. I'll only post two of four in case you want a surprise .. but look away mow if you don't want to see any yet.
I will post the other two on the SiX blog if you want to visit and have a look http://www.sixandfriends.blogspot.co.uk/
Hope to see many of you at the Meet the Artist day on 21st July. Oh and I nearly forgot - there is apparently just one place left on my Masterclass at FOQ - Tuesday and Wednesday. We will be looking at many of the printing techniques I've been blogging about on here and ways into design too. PLUS - and this must surely be a temptation .. you will be the first people other than me and Stephen to see the BOOK!!!! .. can you resist?? Here's the link:
http://www.thefestivalofquilts.co.uk/Content/Workshops-1Talk again soon - thank you for visiting - Hilary x
Sorry about your disappointment Hilary but I'm glad you've had support and are taking a positive view. Onwards and Upwards, as they say. Lots of lovliness to look at in this post and I am looking forward to seeing your new book too. It's interesting to see how your work is changing and developing (interesting good,I mean). :-) I love the Hunters' Moon and the 'last' photo too. Good luck with getting the book completed in time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie - and you can uncross your fingers now!My work is still in very early and I suppose therefore 'evolutionary' stages - I'm glad that is interesting .. I sometimes wonder when I will find a resolved 'style'.. maybe never .. not a very resolved person! I need the good luck and you know, I am so looking forward to seeing the book in print myself .. it just doesn't seem real on the screen x
DeleteAs Julie says onwards and upwards. What do they know anyway.
ReplyDeleteYour pieces are looking great. Looking forward to seeing them min the flesh so to speak. xxx
I'm definitely on forwards Sheila - and I love your 'what do they know'! - that is what mates are for. I must say I never mind seeing work online, because as you say, in the 'flesh' they are a different thing altogether .. especially textile work xx
DeleteWell your quilt is a winner in my eyes...for what that is worth! I commiserate with you in your disappointment...and with your depression. Oh what a ride that can be! I owe my present fairly 'normal' state of mind to My Muttley. He was just wonderful in helping me acknowledge my illness and in encouraging me to get help.
ReplyDeleteWhat is normal, anyway?
What normality is, is very much up for debate I think! And for much of the time, I thoroughly enjoy being 'abnormal'!- especially as I get older. I love 'My Muttley' .. who/what is that? But you are right - we all need someone to accept out illness, so we can ourselves and also to support us as we learn what it has to tell us and how to live with it. I am glad you have someone and you have my heartfelt admiration for having the strength to find a way to survive .. go girl! Thank you also for your lovely comment about my quilt .. I think it will be the start of a really interesting, although possibly less decorative series of work - Hilary x
DeleteWell I love your work and so do lots of others!
ReplyDeleteI'm so looking forward to your book - I'd would have loved to have done your proof reading, I did both of my husband's books!! Next time maybe???
Thank you Gill! - at thre end of the day, that counts for a lot more really .. I want my work to connect with the viewer and give them something .. often no more than a bit of beauty on a grey day .. but something. Be very careful about offering to proof read .. you may just get taken up! The truth is that this time, I am going to be so close to the wire with my timings, there won't be much time for anyone. But as it is a very visual book, I'm telling myself it doesn't matter too much .. you will all know what I mean, and spot the spello may become a feature of the series! Hilary x
DeleteI don't think I have read of anyone who was successful for that Fine Art Quilt Masters gallery. So it will be very interesting to see who was successful and what, if any, common thread there is!
ReplyDeleteI love that print of the boat - reminds me somehow of 1950's nursery curtains (not that I know anything about such things!)
And your energy is quite exhausting - to watch from the outside if you know what I mean! How do you do it?
I love that boat too Hilary ... and you are right .. it is sort of 50's too. I wonder if it is the nostalgic sort of seaside colours and that lovely simplicity you get with monoprints. One day (when when??) it will deffo become a quilt. My energy is running a bit lower right now and I suspect that after FOQ you will find me in a puddle of exhaustion somewhere. Truthfully - I think I am driven by the desire to make up for a lot of lost years. I have heard the list of who is in for FAQ masters - several big names included so it should be a good show. Perhaps a lack of anything new and different? - but that of course is my view and I suppose it all comes down to the judges on the day. Overall I am just pleased there is such a gallery and it was always bound to be contentious!! - H xx
DeleteI read a brilliant quote t'other day which I, of course, can neither find, nor remember verbatim, but it was along the lines of the only failure being not doing - well you are no failure. I think it is good to allow yourself to feel the tangible pain of not getting your quilt accepted by the jurors. If it didn't hurt not top get in why would you have tried in the first place. Congratulations for feeling the fear and doing it anyway, as the book says, and for bouncing back - no mean feat for those with depression which, in my experience, goes in tandem with hyper-reactivity! I sat with two C&G students on Monday, who were entranced by your quilts at The Minerva. So looking forward to seeing you there soon!
ReplyDeleteOh I love that expression hyper-reactivity! sounds much better than over sensitive and is actually more accurate. Have you ever come across the term 'HSP - Highly Sensitive People'? I have an excellent book about them - apparently roughly 20% of the population and often those who suffer from depression. If you haven't I'll look out the author for you - it is excellent. Such people don't filter sensation as thoroughly as the other 80% and hence are overwhelmed and often pick up more (although accurate) information than they can process comfortably. They are also often highly creative and have a sixth sense wisdom. These are the plus sides. Fascinating - but then humans are. You quote (and I so sympathise with the hiding of the original from you!) is wonderful and I have come to understand - true. Having a go and bot getting what you hoped is not failing ... it is trying. Not trying is opting out and failing ... and a waste of life. I am determined not to do that any more. So thank you for reminding me of that RCW (I think I have found your name - Georgina?) Can't wait to get to Minerva - see you there - Hilary x
DeleteSo looking forward to seeing you at the Minerva! I am now nursing my own rejection pain, but actually not as bad as I thought - because I am proud of the 'doing' and because of the community and solace from t'internet! (and a few real life folk too!!)
ReplyDeleteRose (you are Rose to me) - it was lovely to meet you and the rest of the team on Sunday. What a beautiful gallery you have. I don't know what your rejection was, but well done for dealing with it .. it is all we can do, and then go on and try again xx
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